funny jokes 2

THREAT ALERTS IN 2011 EUROPE:

by John Cleese: British writer, actor and very tall person

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to”Peeved.

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to”Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”

The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.”

The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” Warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

funny jokes

80,000 blonde’s meet in the Kansas City Chief’s Stadium for a blonde’s are not stupid convention .

The leader say’s, We are all here today to prove to the world that blonde’s are not stupid.  Can I have a volunteer.

A blonde gingerly work’s her way through the crowd and step’s up to the stage.

The leader ask’s her, What is 15 plus 15, after 15 or 20 seconds she says, eighteen. Obviously everyone is a little disappointed.

Then 80,000 blonde’s start cheering, Give her another chance! Give her another chance!

The leader say ‘s. Well since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, I guess we can give her another chance.

So he ask’s, what is 5 plus 5. After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, ninety.

The leader is quite perplexed, look’s down and just let’s out a dejected sigh , everyone is disheartened , the blonde start’s crying and the 80,000 girl’s begin to yell and wave their hand’s shouting,

GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE.

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually say’s, Ok! Ok! Just one more chance, what is 2 plus 2.  The girl close’s her eye’s, and after a whole minute eventually say’s, four.

Throughout the stadium pandemonium break’s out as all 80,000 girl’s jump to their feet, wave their arm’s, stomp their feet and scream.

GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE.