The Bacon Tree
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving.
They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says:
“Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk.”
“Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon.”
With renewed hope, they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There’s raw bacon, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon, every imaginable kind of cured pork.
“Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Ees a bacon tree!”
“Luis, maybe ees a meerage?
We ees in the desert don’t forget.”
“Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon?
Ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!”
With that, Luis staggers towards the tree.
He gets to within 5 yards, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock.
Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath:
“Pepe, go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!”
“Luis, Luis miamigo, what ees it?”
“Pepe ees not a bacon tree. Ees…
Ees… a ham bush.”
SO SORRY I know there is something wrong with me for sending you this.
Just couldn’t help it!
Little voices made me do it!
And I bet you tried to do the accent didn’t you?
I know you did!
You’re grinning aren’t you?