Pensioner jokes 2

An older gentleman was on the operating table
awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anaesthesia,he asked to speak to his son.
“Yes, Dad , what is it?”
“Don’t be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember,
if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me,
your mother is going to come and
live with you and your wife….” 

Eventually you will reach a point
when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love
to hear them say “you don’t look that old.”

The older we get, he fewer things
seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me!
I want people to know why I look this way.
I’ve travelled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,
think of Algebra.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper…
it’s worse when you forget to pull it down.

“Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder
and Your hand over my mouth!”

Now, if you feel this doesn’t apply to you . . .

stick around awhile . . . it will!


12 responses to “Pensioner jokes 2

  1. I resemble those remarks but I do not yet know what the life of a pee-on is like. 🙂

  2. Harry — I laughed out loud at that first one!

  3. ulsterphotosimages

    Great site and very funny , come and visit mine at !!

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