An elderly man in Oklahoma calls his son in New York and says,
“I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of marriage… and that much misery is enough!”
“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son yells.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old dad explained. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!”.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
“Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”
She calls her elderly father immediately, and screams at him, “You are not getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, you hear me?” she yelled as she hung up the phone.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay”, he says, “it’s all set. They’re both coming for Christmas and paying their own air-fare.”
dribblingpensioner 
Yessss, score for the oldies 🙂
The oldies are always smarter people 🙂
Hehe…wait..who you callen old?
Bless you Harry
you Paul, nice to see you blogging again, my poetry blog,is doing well.
An oldie and a goodie!!!
Just like you 🙂
You say the sweetest things. 🙂
🙂 especially to old woman 🙂
You like living dangerously Harry????
Thats what i do granny 🙂
Reminds me of the fabulous saying, “Old age and treachery overcome youth and skill”.
It always doe’s, let the younger ones think they know lots 🙂
hahahahahaha
thanks for that Harry…wishing you a Happy and healthy New Year and 2014
The same to you JO and to all your family.
🙂
nine incher now she might be a bit put out.
If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.”
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”
“Yes I have,” says the man.
“And has she helped you make a decision?”
“Yes” says the man.
“What is your decision?” asks the doctor
“We’re getting granite work tops for the kitchen.”
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness.
Now you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the motorway. You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, however, your p*n*s was severed in the accident and we couldn’t find it.”
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You have £9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new p*n*s. They work great but they don’t come cheap. It’s roughly £1000 an inch.”
The man perks up. So,” the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out.
If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.”
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”
“Yes I have,” says the man.
“And has she helped you make a decision?”
“Yes” says the man.
“What is your decision?” asks the doctor
“We’re getting granite work tops for the kitchen