Pensioner jokes

type102Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around WalMart when they collide. 
The old guy says to the young guy,
“Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife,
 and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” 
The young guy says, “That’s OK, it’s a coincidence.
 I’m looking for my wife, too… I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.” 
The old guy says, “Well, maybe I can help you find her…
 what does she look like?” 
The young guy says,
“Well, she is 27 years old, tall,
 with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom…wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. 
What does your wife look like?’
To which the old guy says, “Doesn’t matter,
— let’s look for yours.”


A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office.
“Is it true,” she wanted to know,
“that the medication you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?”
“‘Yes, I’m afraid so,”‘ the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
“I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked


Eventually you will reach a point
when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love
to hear them say “you don’t look that old.”

The older we get, the fewer things
seem worth waiting in line for.

9 responses to “Pensioner jokes

  1. great jokes – I have a new found appreciation and respect for my own aging as I have recently started playing from “the senior tees.” I used to kvetch about my daughter, who is a great athlete and can bomb ’em, having such an unfair advantage playing from the women’s tees; I’d kvetch and she would deride me mercilessly – now I am no longer giving up 30-40 yards and am at a reasonable 10 yds – she is finally learning the meaning of respect as she is usually hitting first on the second shots. Call it “the new old.”

  2. Aging hits us all sooner than we think 🙂

  3. Haha! Your hand picked jokes always make me laugh 😀 thanks for the giggle!

  4. ‘NO REFILLS’ – I love it Harry! 😀

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