The Four Cats

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Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

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The first man was an Engineer.
The second man was an Accountant.
The third man was a Chemist.
And The fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, ‘T-square, do your stuff.’
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and
promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said, ‘Spreadsheet, do your stuff.’
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies.
He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said, ‘Measure, do your stuff.’

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk.
Got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly
8 ounces into the glass without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, ‘What can your cat do?’
The Government Employee called his cat and said, CoffeeBreak, do your stuff.’

CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet…….

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Ate the cookies……..

Drank the milk…….

Shit on the paper……

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Screwed the other three cats…….

Claimed he injured his back while doing so……..

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Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions…….

Put in for Workers Compensation…………….

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and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave…………

AND THAT, MY FRIEND IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO WORK FOR THE  GOVERNMENT!!

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22 responses to “The Four Cats

  1. Had to laugh, got a snort out of me. I worked bloody hard for the government and the NHS by the way!

    • Oh dear, do you have a cat called coffee break, working for the Gov; and NHS you should know all about coffee breaks 🙂

      • Never had any. Any tea or coffee was always at my desk or during a meeting. I usually didn’t have a lunch break either. Public sector easy life isn’t all it is portrayed to be.

  2. I’ve been on the “contract provider” end of a government contract. CoffeeBreak describes what happens to any provider unlucky enough to be on the receiving end of such a contract.

  3. Smart cats indeed! Gave me an early morning laugh, Harry. Nice way to start the day. By the way, I have three cats, had six at one time. Wrote a memoir about them called Six Cats In My Kitchen.

  4. Ha — I think you hit that one on the head Harry!

  5. Wonderful! I can’t wait to share this!

  6. LOL made my breakfast 🙂

  7. OMG Harry, that was Howlarious! 😆

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