Nursery Rhymes ?

Hey Diddle Diddle!
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.

What a stupid statement, a cow can’t even jump over a fence as it can’t run fast enough to take off.


OLD Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her poor dog a bone;
But when she got there
The cupboard was bare,
And so the poor dog had none.

Mother Hubbard, you should be reported for cruelty to animals and also the dog should be removed from your home.


Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water;
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.

Two very stupid children, be more careful next time, and you should know you can never get water at the top of a hill.


SIMPLE SIMON met a pie man
going to the fair:
Said Simple Simon to the pie man:
“let me taste your ware.”

He will Simon, but only if you can pay for the pie, after him spending his time cooking it .


The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five-pound note.

A cat hates water and an owl stays in the trees, also a five pound note could not hold honey and change.


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King’s horses
And all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.

See what happens when you climb a wall, now you are dead a egg.


Incy wincy spider
climbed up the spout,
Down came the rain
and washed poor Incy out,

No sympathy, spiders should always know about the rain coming.


Miss Polly had a dolly who was sick, sick, sick.
So she phoned for the doctor to be quick, quick, quick.
The doctor came with his bag and hat,
And knocked at the door with a rat tat tat.

Polly should be fined for phoning about a bloody doll, wasting the doctors time, when other sick people need the doctor.


Baa baa black sheep
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full.

Of course it has wool, all sheep do, if it did not it would likely be called a goat.


There was an old lady who swallowed a fly,
I don’t know why she swallowed a fly.
Perhaps she’ll die!

That will teach her to keep her mouth closed, i know its a hard thing for a woman to do.

Little Bo-peep has lost her sheep,
And can’t tell where to find them;
Leave them alone, and they’ll come home,
And bring their tails behind them.

Bo-peep, your lost your  lambs and now its your fault , that they are likely at a butchers or on a plate with a sauce.


17 responses to “Nursery Rhymes ?

  1. i would respond but i’m keeping my mouth shut!

  2. Humpty dumpty sat on a wall, humpty dumpty had a great fall. all the kings horses and all the kings men, laughed their heads off.
    Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pale of water, jill came down with half a crown, it wasn’t for fetching water…
    Nice post Harry enjoy my little adds…;)

  3. There goes my childhood!

  4. Good to see that life hasn’t extinguished your once childhood innocence and replaced it with cynicism there, Harry. 😉

  5. Harry – kinda grumpy lol… never mind that the cat couldn’t possibly play fiddle without thumbs 😉

  6. This is one lullubye my Mom never sang to us…
    Rock a bye baby on the treetop , when the wind blows , the cradle will rock, when the bough breaks the cradle will fall . down will come baby, cradle and all…. @___@

    Why ?

  7. LOL ! She thought the person who wrote that was crazy. I mean, what was that person thinking?

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