A cockney mans day

Cockney Rhyming Slang is not language because it is English.

Some think the slang started in the markets so that the vendors could communicate without the customers knowing what was being said.

Other stories say that it originated in the prisons so that inmates could talk without the guards listening in. or that criminals could hold open conversations, within earshot of a policeman, without fear that their plans were being overheard by the police.

To be a cockney you had to be born within the sound of Bow bell in the St. Mary-le-Bow church, that is in the City of London.

Below are the thoughts of a cockney man as he goes through his evening after work.

The story is translated below, try to read and figure it out before going to the translation.

00————————00

I was walking along the Frog and Toad going home from work so i went into have a Glen Campbell, i put a pony on a Charing Cross, i’ll see the result to-morrow.

I got to the mickey mouse and kissed the trouble and strife and my two teapot lids. We sat at the Cane and Abel for dinner it was home-made loop de loop and a cup of rosy lee.

Before i went out i got my Binoculars to read a fish-hook for a while. Then went on the dog and bone to my old china plate about going to the Jack Tar.

I went to the bathroom and had an Eartha Kitt what a Dame Judy Dench.

I had a David Gower, then put some Cape of Good Hope on my Chevy Chase and had a Chas and Dave.

Time to get dressed in my whistle and flute with my Centre Half, i also put on my tit for tat and i was ready.

I did not use my jam jar because i was drinking so we both walked into the Cabin Cruiser, got a Cane and Abel and a couple of Fred Astaires and settled down for a night of rabbiting.

We both had a few pig’s ears, but it was noisy because there was a couple of Ham Shanks in and they are loud and like to be heard.

I went first for an Eye Lash and then my old china plate, because we had so much beer.

We both said we would leave when the hickory dickory dock strikes eleven, so home we went.

Got into the house and had the Tommy Tucker my Fork and Knife left for me, then it was up the apples and pears to Fakey Ned.

Translation Below.




I was walking along the Road going home from work so i went into have a Gamble, i put £25 on a Horse, i’ll se the result to-morrow.

i got to the house and kissed the wife and my two kids . we sat at the Table for dinner it was home-made soup and a cup of tea.

before i went out i got my glasses to read a book for a while. then went on the phone to my old mate about going to the bar

I went to the bathroom and had a Shit what a Stench. i had a Shower then put some Soap on my Face and had a Shave.

time to get dressed in my suit with my Scarf, i also put on my hat and i was ready.

I did not use my car because i was drinking so we both walked into the Boozer ,got a Table and a couple of Chairs and settled down for a night of talking.

we both had a few beers but it was noisy because there was a couple of Yanks in and they are loud and like to be heard.

i went for an Slash first and then my old mate because we had so much beer.

we both said we would leave when the clock strikes eleven, so home we went.

got into the house and had the supper my Wife left for me, then it was up the stairs to Bed.

Advertisements

19 responses to “A cockney mans day

  1. I barely understood a thing before getting to the translation! Now that I’ve read this I realized that Austin Powers and Michael Cain was speaking in cockney in one of those Powers movies.

  2. Huh? That was American for “What?” You’re welcome! 😉

  3. I used to have a b/f from Essex. He was full of this slang.

  4. Some of those are new eg judy dench. Just saying.

  5. Since I had a cigarette in he first one that did not belong I was a bomb, not to be confused with bombshell. 😉

  6. See? You learn something new everyday—this type of verbiage was not something I was familiar with at all =D

  7. My great grandparents were from East of London – Hackney. I sure wish I could have heard what their slang was like!

  8. Yep! There were a few parts I needed the translation for! One interesting thing I only learnt a few years back is that there is also Glaswegian rhyming slang. The difference being that you generally don’t say the rhyming word but only the first one.

    • I must look that up 🙂

      • There’s a common Glaswegian rhyming slang example that I’ve been trying to remember, and I finally have: “scooby”. It’s for when you don’t know something. You might say, “I don’t have a scooby”. i.e. scooby-doo clue. Like I say, unlike Cockney rhyming slang you don’t tend to say that word that rhymes. Which makes it even more complicated for the uninitiated!

  9. Still needs a bit of translation for us Americans lol.

I appreciate any comments you leave, and thank you for reading my posts and please call back again.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s