Man Flu – the facts

Man Flu – The Facts…

1.  Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth.

This is an irrefutable scientific fact*.

*(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)

Photo from Yahoo

2.  Man-Flu is not ‘just a cold’. It is a condition so severe that the germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the rainforest.  And probably loads of monkeys too.

3.  Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is
medically recognised as a ‘Mild Girly Sniffle’ – which, if a man caught, he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.

4.  Men do not ‘moan’ when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain they are in.

Photo from Yahoo

5.  Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their simple
requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea are met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done it.

6.  More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots of other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).

7.  Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and go to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest heroes this country has ever known.

8.  In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full
blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head literally fell off.

9.  Man-Flu germs are more powerful than He-Man, The Thundercats and The A-Team combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting ‘lady
medicines’ like Lemsip, so don’t bother trying to force them on a victim of
Man-Flu.

10.  While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around enjoying
‘Diagnosis Murder’ it is a commonly recognised medical fact that the exact
pitch and frequency of Dick Van Dyke’s voice has remarkable soothing
powers.

Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu.

Women, all we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea, some kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just maybe, we’ll beat this monstrous disease together.

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30 responses to “Man Flu – the facts

  1. My husband gets man flu quite a lot, even if is really just a scratch on his finger.

  2. Man flu…another way to say pansy.
    x,
    Becca

  3. I didn’t even hear about man flu before I moved to England. I don’t think we have it over here 😉

  4. Hahahaha! This can’t be real.

  5. Girls just don’t understand us 🙂

  6. I’ve seen the ravages of man-flu. It’s horrific.

  7. man flu…. he got it from another woman… so no thanks. He he he

  8. Thanks for finally proving scientifically that this exists. Women don’t understand the pain we endure.

  9. Harry, I just sniffled. I better lie down next to the TV in case my symptoms worsen.

  10. Is it not true that a man with man-flu improves much faster if allowed to sit without hindrance in his man-cave?

  11. My class sends their LOLs.

  12. Hmmm – well good luck to all you guys finding a Florence Nightingale. Hubby dearest is in bed, right now, protesting the ill effects of man-flu. I believe him not!! I shall be ordering pizza (not making tea). We’ll see how sick he really is when his pizza is in the lounge and he’s in bed. If he comes for pizza – he’s not that bad!

  13. Hallelujah brother!!! I suffer from it a lot 🙂

  14. Pingback: Bah-Man Flu - MBClub UK - Bringing together Mercedes Enthusiasts

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