Tag Archives: joke’s

More Aunty Acid.

Yaya Sisters, funny photos.

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Be sure to read the diet at the end

The Yaya Sisters

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Funny medical terms, Part one.

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ARTERY———————————–The study of art.

BENIGN————————————After you are eight.

BACTERIA——————————–Back door to a cafeteria.

BARIUM————————————What doctors do when patients die.

CESAREAN SECTION—————–A neighbourhood in Rome.

CATSCAN———————————-Searching for kitty.

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Religious Insight of children.

type102LOT’S WIFE

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The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back and
turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted.
‘My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,’ he announced
triumphantly, ‘and she turned into a telephone pole!’

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GOOD SAMARITAN

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A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, ‘If you saw a person lying on
the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?’

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, ‘I think I’d throw up.’

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DID NOAH FISH?

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A Sunday school teacher asked, ‘Johnny, do you think Noah did
a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?’

‘No,’ replied Johnny. ‘How could he, with just two worms.

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SIPPING VODKA

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A new Priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done.

The Monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip..”

So next Sunday he took the Monsignor’s advice… At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the desk:

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Why, do woman need men.

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For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free.  Here’s an update for you.


Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
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The Bacon Tree

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The Bacon Tree

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Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving.

They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says:

“Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk.”

“Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon.”

With renewed hope, they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There’s raw bacon, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon, every imaginable kind of cured pork.

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POTENT COFFEE

type102A woman (of Irish decent) of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband’s libido.

‘What about trying Viagra?’ asked the doctor.
‘Not a chance,” she said. ‘He won’t even take an aspirin.’

‘Not a problem,’ replied the doctor. ‘Give him a ‘Newfie Viagra’.
‘What is Newfie Viagra?’ she asked.

‘It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.’

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My new blog.

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Another new blog for me folks.

this one is a bit lighter, its a jokes blog.

why don’t you pay a visit and give it a boost

and if you like it why not follow, thank you all.

http://jokefortoday.wordpress.com/

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Condom factories

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Condom factories
by Roly

Captain condom

This post is from a very special mans blog, please visit.

WHAT IF OTHER COMPANIES BESIDES DUREX MADE CONDOMS….
From GPSA.co.za

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Pensioner jokes

type102Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around WalMart when they collide. 
The old guy says to the young guy,
 
“Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife,
 and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” 
The young guy says, “That’s OK, it’s a coincidence.
 I’m looking for my wife, too… I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.” 
The old guy says, “Well, maybe I can help you find her…
 what does she look like?” 
The young guy says,
“Well, she is 27 years old, tall,
 with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom…wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. 
What does your wife look like?’
 
To which the old guy says, “Doesn’t matter,
 
— let’s look for yours.”

Facts you may not know, Part three.

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The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Money can’t buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they’re OK, you’re it.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

COROLLARY: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Sky’s Law: You can’t fall off the floor.

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