Irish jokes

An Irishmen wanting to become a Priest went
to see the Bishop who said “You must answer
three questions on the Bible”
“First – Who was born in a stable?”
“Red Rum” he replied
“Second – What do you think of Damascus?”
“It kills 99% of all germs” he replied.
“Third – What happened when the disciples went to
Mount Olive?”
“That’s easy” he said “Popeye kicked the shit out of them!!

Irish humour: Paddy Jokes

Paddy & Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station.
Mick: “What if one explodes before we get there?”
Paddy: “We’ll lie and say we only found two.”

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Paddy’s in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him “Did you find the shampoo?”
Paddy says, “yes but it’s for dry hair and I’ve just wet mine.”

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Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish. “I think it’s got epilepsy”  he tells the vet.
Vet takes a look and says “It seems calm enough to me”.
Paddy says, “I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet”.