Tag Archives: humour

Why, do woman need men.

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For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free.  Here’s an update for you.


Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
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The Bacon Tree

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The Bacon Tree

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Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving.

They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says:

“Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk.”

“Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon.”

With renewed hope, they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There’s raw bacon, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon, every imaginable kind of cured pork.

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POTENT COFFEE

type102A woman (of Irish decent) of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband’s libido.

‘What about trying Viagra?’ asked the doctor.
‘Not a chance,” she said. ‘He won’t even take an aspirin.’

‘Not a problem,’ replied the doctor. ‘Give him a ‘Newfie Viagra’.
‘What is Newfie Viagra?’ she asked.

‘It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.’

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My new blog.

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Another new blog for me folks.

this one is a bit lighter, its a jokes blog.

why don’t you pay a visit and give it a boost

and if you like it why not follow, thank you all.

http://jokefortoday.wordpress.com/

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Funny Gifs , Part One.

Enjoy the gifs, there’s more to come, and thank you Karen for sending them.

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Building in retirement.

type102Some have asked what I’m going to be doing in retirement.  Well, I  applied for a building permit for a new house.
It was going to be 100 ft tall and 400 ft wide, with 12 gun turrets at various heights, and windows all over the place and a loud outside entertainment sound system that was going to entertain the whole neighbourhood.
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Fashion tips for the elderly.

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SENIOR DRESS CODE…

Many of us ‘Old Folks’ (over 50) are quite confused today about how we should present ourselves. Feeling ‘young’, we try to conform to current fashions and present a youthful image.

Contrary to what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:
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Joke: The Hotel Bill

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The Hotel Bill

An older lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday
by staying overnight in a really nice hotel.  When she checked out the
next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.

She demanded to know why the charge was so high. “I agree it’s a nice hotel, but the rooms aren’t worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay!  I didn’t even have breakfast.”

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Pensioner jokes 2

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An older gentleman was on the operating table
awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anaesthesia,he asked to speak to his son.
“Yes, Dad , what is it?”
“Don’t be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember,
if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me,
your mother is going to come and
live with you and your wife….” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ageing:
Eventually you will reach a point
when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love
to hear them say “you don’t look that old.”

Condom factories

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Condom factories
by Roly

Captain condom

This post is from a very special mans blog, please visit.

WHAT IF OTHER COMPANIES BESIDES DUREX MADE CONDOMS….
From GPSA.co.za

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Model out without lipstick.

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Ladies, don’t you just hate it?? …you get all dressed up …hot to trot !!!…then you catch  glimpse of yourself in a mirror.

 And suddenly you realize..your forgot the lipstick…the whole look gone for a crap right there !!!. 

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Adam and eve

type102LOL!!! a bit of humor to brighten your day!!
When God created
Adam and Eve, He said:
I only have two gifts:
One is the art of peeing standing …
And then Adam stepped forward and shouted:
ME!, ME!, ME!,
I would love it please … Lord, please, please!
Look, it will make my life substantially easier.
Eve nodded, and said those things did not matter to her. Continue reading