Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
The Bacon Tree
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving.
They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says:
“Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk.”
“Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon.”
With renewed hope, they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There’s raw bacon, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon, every imaginable kind of cured pork.
‘What about trying Viagra?’ asked the doctor.
‘Not a chance,” she said. ‘He won’t even take an aspirin.’
‘Not a problem,’ replied the doctor. ‘Give him a ‘Newfie Viagra’.
‘What is Newfie Viagra?’ she asked.
‘It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.’
Enjoy the gifs, there’s more to come, and thank you Karen for sending them.
A new craze has hit Japan, woman showing their knickers in public, these skirts are coming soon to a shopping centre near you.
Woman (maybe some men) will you be brave enough to wear one in public.
The Hotel Bill
An older lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday
by staying overnight in a really nice hotel. When she checked out the
next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.
She demanded to know why the charge was so high. “I agree it’s a nice hotel, but the rooms aren’t worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn’t even have breakfast.”
Making a baby.
This is hilarious!
There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, ‘Well, I’m off now. The man should be here soon.’
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. ‘Good morning, Ma’am’, he said, ‘I’ve come to…’