LOL!!! a bit of humor to brighten your day!!
When God created
Adam and Eve, He said:
I only have two gifts:
One is the art of peeing standing …
And then Adam stepped forward and shouted:
ME!, ME!, ME!,
I would love it please … Lord, please, please!
Look, it will make my life substantially easier.
Eve nodded, and said those things did not matter to her. Continue reading
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around WalMart when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy,
“Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”
The young guy says, “That’s OK, it’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too… I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”
The old guy says, “Well, maybe I can help you find her… what does she look like?”
The young guy says,
“Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom…wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?’
To which the old guy says, “Doesn’t matter,
— let’s look for yours.”
Horses in the race are:
1. Passionate Lady
2. Bare Belly
3. Silk Panties
5. Jockey Shorts
6. Clean Sheets
8. Big Johnson
9. Heavy BOSOM
10. Merry Cherry
This is an alert that has went out from all the major security providers, to protect you from a vicious virus that has just been sent out.
Below is a Response i got when i tried to re-set one of my passwords.
Posted in computer downloads, Crime, humor, jokes
Tagged computer, computer downloads, computer password, computer safety, computer security, computer threat, computer virus, virus, virus threat
Barbie turned 50 last year
Tweety bird is 60 years of age.
And what about all our other ….
CHILDHOOD SUPER HEROES..?
A very pretty young speech therapist was getting nowhere with her Stammerers Action Group.
She had tried every technique in the book without the slightest success. No one was improving.
Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said “If any of you can tell me, without stuttering, the name of the town where you were born.
I will have wild and passionate sex with you until your muscles ache and your eyes water.
So, who wants to go first?”
The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Money can’t buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they’re OK, you’re it.
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
COROLLARY: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Sky’s Law: You can’t fall off the floor.
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors.
The waiting room was filled with patients.As he approached the receptionist’s desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.
He gave her his name.