French People.

THE FRENCH- A USELESS RACE OF PEOPLE

Somewhat unflattering – albeit, amusing – observations about the French, which we all know from experience are untrue- well mostly!(?)

The French

” France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from those drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes.” Mark Twain

“I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.” General George S. Patton

“Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.” Norman Schwarzkopf

“We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.” Marge Simpson

“The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee.” Regis Philbin

“You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn’t have the face for it.” Unamed U.S. Senator

“The last time the French asked for ‘more proof’ , it came marching into Paris under a German flag.” David Letterman

“Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada .” Ted Nugent

“War without France would be like World War II.” Unknown

“The favourite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. Right now is one that says ‘First Iraq, then France’.” Tom Brokaw

“What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?” Dennis Miller

“It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us.” Alan Kent

“They’ve taken their own precautions against al-Qa’ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house.”
Argus Hamilton

“Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day – the description was, ‘Never shot, dropped once’.” Rep. Roy Blunt, MO

“The French will only agree to go to war when we’ve proven we’ve found truffles in Iraq .” Dennis Miller

Question – What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
Answer - Table for 100,000 m’sieur?

“Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It’s not known, it’s never been tried.” Rep. R. Blount, MO

“Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that’s because it was raining!” John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv

French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney. (AP), Paris, March 5, 2003
The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

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37 responses to “French People.

  1. A gripping life

    LOL!!!hahaha! All true!

  2. couldn’t agree more heehee! lol ;)

  3. hehehe…hope you don’t have any French fans!

  4. But they DO have very sexy accents.

  5. Absolutely love this. And their so-called great cuisine is, I’m told very mediocre. They have never forgiven us for Agincourt. Lol. :D

  6. Ooh no I haven’t yet matey. Will remedy that anon. Been sky and weather watching past couple of days. Another of my interests…..Thunder Storms. :D

  7. I do like a nice cup of French Roast coffee, though.

  8. I was going to try iced tea in Spain, but never bothered :)

  9. rjrodriguez18

    Interesting… I like the French but I know this is all true.

  10. Sounds like the equivalent of New Zealanders in this part of the world, or from the NZ perspective, Australians. :-)

  11. Wow! You have some serious balls to write this post! I found it to be hysterically funny!

    Huge balls man, huge! :)

  12. LoL – Can’t wait to read the next one! :) Every post makes me laugh outloud!

  13. You should re-blog them and you can’t get blamed :)

    Liz they are in these topics, maybe two or three in each :)

    religion, political matters, paedophile priest reports, health, Crime, Britain, miscellaneous, All about people, America

  14. Good idea – I don’t typically reblog. Guess it feels sort of like copying someone else’s work to me. You are right, I will have to reblog those types of hysterical posts! Thanks.

  15. This post just landed your blog at a rating of (10) on my blogroll.
    :)

    • Thanks Liz, i have just added you as well:)

      • Great! Thanks.
        Now, if I could just think of something to write about.

        I have been reading blogs and commenting all day long. My brain has turned to mud. Time to turn off the laptop and watch Netflix. Hurt my foot and have a huge boot on, have to go to therapy for six weeks. I am supposed to stay off of it, so nothing to do but blog and watch T.V. Please don’t ask how I hurt it, the answer is not suitable for WordPress.com. :)
        Oh dear, what a hard day at work. LoL

      • Writers block is bad, bad, i had it with an old blog i had, turn the pc of watch tv for a couple of days with a note book you will get ideas.

  16. Ah last of dying breed of bigots! Thank God the younger generations arent as pathetic..hmm maybe because no one in England is English anymore!

    Well lads, lets not forget that England was invaded by these so called pathetic French…thats why roughly half of the English language is…French! can you say royal (roy means king in old French, now it is roi) … parliament from French word to speak, parler. oh yes, but English are never fair so these werent French of course..they were vikings who happened to be living in France and speak French but had nothing to do with the kingdom of France and were most certainly not subjects of the king.

    Food for thought: According to the BRITISH historian Niall Ferguson: “Of the 125 major European wars fought since 1495, the French have participated in 50 – more than Austria (47) and England (43). Out of 168 battles fought since 387BC, they have won 109, lost 49 and drawn 10, giving France the most successful military power in European history.

    Enjoy your French bashing!

    • erockurbano, if you were not so stupid you would notice that this is placed in the HUMOUR category, i’m not a bigot, i post about Americans, fat people, paedophile priests, Brition, men, woman, anything that is news or humour.

      Maybe you would like this one instead http://dribblingpensioner.wordpress.com/2011/07/12/funny-jokes-2/

      You don’t even have a post in your site yet, why don’t you write posts because you have not made any friends here through your comment.

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