Monthly Archives: July 2011

funny jokes

Italian Pregnancy
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.

The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, ‘Who was the pig that did this to you’

I want to know!’

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house.

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flying car coming to britain

£150k flying car set for UK skies

The age-old dream of owning a car that flies has just got closer to reality for the average driver.

The Terrafugia Transition is set to become the world’s first flying production car – and it’s soaring towards the UK.

The Transition has been declared road legal by the NHTSA in the US, paving the way for American buyers to take to the skies.

Since then, 20 UK drivers have registered interest in buying one of the road-going planes, which go on sale next year. Over 100 American buyers have already made enquiries.

With a price of £150,000, the Transition costs £20,000 less than today’s supercar of the moment, the McLaren MP4-12C.

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sex abuse by priest’s

It’s a disgrace that the Catholic church is still hiding the fact that this is still going on, more so when the Irish law say’s that all paedophile priest’s must be reported to the police. Why doe’s the catholic church from the Pope down protect these priest’s from going to jail.

Quote the Justice Minister:- New laws that will compel priests to report paedophiles to Gardai (Police ), even if they are told of the abuse in the confession box.

“The law of the land should not be stopped by the collar,” he said.

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funny jokes 2

THREAT ALERTS IN 2011 EUROPE:

by John Cleese: British writer, actor and very tall person

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to”Peeved.

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to”Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”

The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.”

The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” Warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

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spanish holiday lost

To-day should have been the second day of our holiday on the Spanish island of Majorca, all told there would have been 11 adults and 6 children.

But alas, we did not get and had to forgo the holiday.

This started way back 3 month’s ago and i have been putting of the evil day to say, we can’t go.

The reason being that my wife had a very bad case of nerve’s,tension,nervious tension call it what you will, over something as supid as a broken tooth that she would have to get the gum lanced to remove the root.

Thing’s got steadly worse and she started to worry about other thing’s so the doctor did a complete medical and in total about 8 blood test’s and all was clear , and still she worry’s about herself.

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Boating Holidays in Northern Ireland.

The Fermanagh lake lands are a great place to have a relaxed boating holiday, there a over 100 island’s with a few having accomodation to stay in, and it is a fisher man’s dream. I have been there many time’s to a few island’s as wel as day trip’s around the lake’s.

The Fermanagh lake lands and day-boats…





Boating Holidays in Northern Ireland.

You need no experience and no licence to drive any of these boats. Full tuition by instructors before you leave the boat’s are suitable for first time hirers. You can order food provisions in advance and they will be waiting for you on arrival. You could spend 2 week’s on the 3 lake’s and never see it all.

I have been on board these boat’s and they are so big and very nice inside, it must be lovely sailing around the lake’s slowly on a summer’s day and then calling in for a break and a drink on one of the holiday island’s on the lake’s.

Fishing is a very big thing on the lake’s, people from all over Britain and further come to fish here. There are many day boat’s for hire for the fishing or just a day out on the lake’s.

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