funny jokes

80,000 blonde’s meet in the Kansas City Chief’s Stadium for a blonde’s are not stupid convention .

The leader say’s, We are all here today to prove to the world that blonde’s are not stupid.  Can I have a volunteer.

A blonde gingerly work’s her way through the crowd and step’s up to the stage.

The leader ask’s her, What is 15 plus 15, after 15 or 20 seconds she says, eighteen. Obviously everyone is a little disappointed.

Then 80,000 blonde’s start cheering, Give her another chance! Give her another chance!

The leader say ‘s. Well since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, I guess we can give her another chance.

So he ask’s, what is 5 plus 5. After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, ninety.

The leader is quite perplexed, look’s down and just let’s out a dejected sigh , everyone is disheartened , the blonde start’s crying and the 80,000 girl’s begin to yell and wave their hand’s shouting,

GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE.

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually say’s, Ok! Ok! Just one more chance, what is 2 plus 2.  The girl close’s her eye’s, and after a whole minute eventually say’s, four.

Throughout the stadium pandemonium break’s out as all 80,000 girl’s jump to their feet, wave their arm’s, stomp their feet and scream.

GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE.

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colonoscopy

I went into my proctologist’s office for my first rectal exam.
His new nurse, Evelyn, took me to an examining room
And told me to get undressed and have a seat
Until the doctor could see me .
She said that he would only be a few minutes.

After putting on the gown that she gave me
I sat down
While waiting I observed
That there were three items on a stand
Next to the exam table:

A Tube of K-Y jelly,
A rubber glove
And a beer .

When the doctor finally came in I said,
“Look Doc, I’m a little confused
This is my first exam ..
I know what the K-Y is for
And I know what the glove is for,

But can you tell me what the BEER is for?

At that Doctor Paul became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door.

He flung the door open and yelled to his nurse .. . . . . .

Darn it, Evelyn !!!

I said a BUTT LIGHT “

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TRAFFIC CAMERA

My wife was driving when she saw the flash of a traffic camera.

She figured that her picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though she knew that she was not speeding.

Just to be sure, she went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now she began to think that this was quite funny, so she drove even slower as she passed the area once more, but the traffic camera again flashed.

She tried a fourth and fifth time with the same result’s and was now laughing as the camera flashed while she rolled past at a snail’s pace.

Two weeks later, she got five ticket’s in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

You can’t fix stupid.

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MY NEW MOBILE PHONE

I just got my new mobile phone, – and it’s one I understand how to operate!!!

At Last, a mobile Phone for us Seniors!

You REALLY have to be OLD to appreciate THIS joke.

I know some of you are not old enough to get this, but you can pass it on to some old person who needs a laugh today!!!

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