Stanley, i think they have changed to smaller stool’s since we where here last.
The British Government should put a complete end to illegal people coming to Britain with out a job to start, they bring very little money if any at all, meaning they have no way to support themselve’s living here.
They get of the plane or boat, go to the nearest city or town and ask for the Social Security Office, they cannot speak English so the Government provide’s an interpreter.
They say they are homeless and are provided with furnished accommodation, also put on the Social payroll be it the dole or what ever, then on the way out to the taxi provided by us the social worker hand’s the person about 20 leaflet’s on thing’s they can claim for.
Thing’s like free eye glasses, free dental work, free doctor’s care, free this, free that, free every bloody thing that they could not get in their own country.
Dear Mr Cameron,
Please find below my second suggestion for fixing England ‘s economy. Pensioner’s will be well looked after, and all crime stopped.
Put all the pensioner’s in jail and all the criminal’s in a nursing home.
This way the pensioner’s would have access to shower’s, hobbie’s and walk’s.
They’d receive unlimited free prescription’s, dental and medical treatment, wheel chair’s etc and they’d receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
Staff would check on them every 30 minute’s and bring their meal’s and snack’s to their room.
80,000 claimant’s are on benefits For obesity and addiction’s.
According to a new government report out to-day, more than 80,000 people are claiming incapacity benefit for obesity and addiction to alcohol and drug’s.
The report further state’s that, 81,760 people are dependent on payout’s because they are obese (1,830) or suffering from drug (37,480) or alcohol problem’s (42,360).
Some 12,880 alcoholic’s and 9,200 drug addict’s have been dependent on incapacity benefit for more than 10 year’s, along with 660 obese people.
A WOMEN’S REVENGE
I was working at the checkout in the supermarket one day.
‘Cash, check or charge?’ I asked, after packing item’s the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
So, do you always carry your TV remote? I asked.
No, she replied, but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.
A WOMAN’S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheatie’s box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
Posted in humor, jokes
Tagged courthouse, COWS, fat bum, funny, joke's, mad cow epidemic, Parliament, Ten Commandments, woman humor, woman joke
Dear Mr Cameron,
Please find below my suggestion for fixing England ‘s economy.
Instead of giving billion’s of pound’s to bank’s that will squander the money on lavish partie’s and unearned bonuse’s, please use the following plan.
You can call it the loyalty Retirement Plan:- Part one.
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire from full/part-time work.
Ten million job’s opening up - unemployment problem fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new British built car.
Ten million car’s ordered – Car Industry fixed.
A story which might alarm you, all link’s are clickable.
WordPress.com is under threat from an evil woman who got into the WordPress computer and copied all the programme’s, she is now threatening to bring the WordPress site to a stand still.
She is known for this and has tried it before, her name is Midaeval Maiden and live’s in a castle with one servant, and a few local people said she has a very sad life with 4 cats.
WordPress member’s called a meeting and support bot was asked to read the minute’s about the last time this happened, but support bot took so long to start Grays in the shade read the minute’s from the brown road chronicle’s.
Someone asked was invisible Mikey at the meeting but no-one answered and the dribbling pensioner sat in the corner dribbling happily.
As usual air odyssey was hovering 3 feet of the ground, and said that it was a case of good versus evil or if you prefered love versus Goliath.
Hidden cost of translation and interpretation of the UK Government.
Why should the British tax payer have to pay for the translation of thousand’s of document’s for foreigner’s flooding Britain, it’s about time it came to and end.
The Labour government said that people coming to Britain will have to learn English, the present Government said that they should learn English before they come here.
It’s ridiculous that the service is provided. If i went to live in another country i would not expect this service to be provided and i would have to find someone to interpret for me and also i would lean the language.
A UK-based translation agency who work’s closely with Government estimated the figure of £100 million for translation and interpretation service’s to the UK Government is greatly underestimated, and that the actual cost is likely to be as high as £500 Million.
More than £100m of public money is spent on translation service’s in the UK. Local authorities’ spend £25m, NHS trusts £55m and the courts £31m on interpreting language’s.
Mobile speed camera van, burnt out in the Irish Republic.
A workman is lucky to be alive to-day when the van he was inside, was set on fire and destroyed.
A speed detection van was burnt out with one male operator inside.
One of the country’s new vans has been set on fire while the driver was inside.
The occupant narrowly escaped injury as the van was quickly engulfed in flames after the front seats were set on fire.
Gardai are treating the attack on the marked mobile speed van near Dundalk as arson.
How to turn text upside down. Rotate letters 180 degrees.
This is a little APP to play with on the pc. It will let you turn text upside down, which you can then copy and paste to an email, blog post or any thing you write.
˙ʍou ƃuıop ǝɹɐ noʎ sɐ ʇsnɾ ‘sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ oʇ s,puɐɥ ɹıǝɥʇ uo puɐʇs s,puǝıɹɟ ɹnoʎ ǝʞɐɯ oʇ unɟ ɟo ʇıq ɐ ʇsnɾ
Well, could you read the line above
I opened a cash ISA just over a year ago and the interest paid for the year was very good, but i was not told and i also did not read the small print, that after the first year the interest paid crashed to 0.05%.
So i would advise any one with a cash ISA, to cash it in and open up a new ISA right away even with another bank, this is what i will be doing when June come’s round.
Santander have the highest with their Santander Flexible account at 3.30%.
The bank’s have started a charitable saving’s account with the interest rate of 2.80% so i opened an account with my bank, but as with the ISA your money is tied in for the year and it will crash down to 0.05%. So cash it and open a new one again.
An update:- I checked with the bank to-day, they said i can cash in my ISA but i will not be allowed to have another one as they are controlled by the Government, or i can let it stay until the rate of interest increase’s. But with the charitable saving’s account, you can cash it and start another one as they are controlled by the bank.
I’m going to post a few link’s on computer security, each programme is free and tried and tested, they are also recommended by one of the top computer forum’s on the web.
Go to the right hand top corner and download the latest version.This prog; should be run weekly and remove anything that is found , save the log and if the pc is fine remove it sometime you are in document’s.
CCleaner is a freeware system optimization, privacy and cleaning tool. It remove’s unused file’s from your system allowing Window’s to run faster and freeing up valuable hard disk space. It also clean’s trace’s of your online activities’ such as your Internet history. Additionally it contain’s a fully featured registry cleaner. But the best part is that it’s fast (normally taking less than a second to run) and contain’s NO Spyware or Adware!
Run a full scan weekly and remove anything that is found.
Detect and Remove Spyware, Adware and Remove Malware, Trojans, Dialers, Worms, KeyLoggers, HiJackers, Parasites, Rootkits, Rogue Security Products and many other types of threats. Light on System Resources and won’t slow down your computer like many other anti-spyware products. Won’t conflict with your existing anti-spyware or anti-virus solution. Repair broken Internet Connections, Desktops, Registry Editing and more with our unique Repair System!